An Affair

On writing to Terri, I recalled a long-time-ago-event between JE and me. Terri is suffering from some emotional despair, which part is similar to my oldies. I told her it’s desirable to forget bad things as soon as possible, but I didn’t have overcome mine for a long time. Whenever I confronted with JE in my campus years, I assumed natural countenance, yet my heart was in a terrible whirl. Even now, I remember the feeling of being betrayed or abused in those days.

I loved YC. He was/is the first and only one whom I’ve loved among those who have lived in my reality. I’ve never loved a man such purely, earnestly, and poignantly like I loved him. He possessed the half of my campus years. With him, the woman in me woke up and the innocence passed away. When JE seduced him, if I had not confessed my emotion for him to her before that, my feeling of betrayed would not have been so great. She was one of my best friends and already had a boy friend then. I was felt my emotion been totally abused by her.

JE married sooner than I, and her husband was another man, not her boy friend of then as well as YC. My YC has left for good, and we’ve never met since those years. So to speak, I was ridiculed by JE, so I could not have cleared bitter sediment in mind caused by her for a long time. The beater can easily forget, the beaten cannot. JE, who was from rich family and married to a rich man, has lived affluent life, but I don’t. She would/could never imagine my life and never understand my mind.

Now I don’t hate her, and don’t have any bad feeling on her. She has been no more my friend, for I have erased her from my friends’ list. I, however, could not send YC away from my heart, he remained in the corner of my inside and has lived there, even though I don’t love him now.

Brit…