Fatigue

I’m suffering from fatigue. Whole my body aches. Sorry to say fatigue, I don’t deserve it. Anyway, what’s the cause of it? Definitely not from hard work, because I didn’t have any hard work! Then, what about ill food, the sushi of yesterday, or a touch of cold, or breathlessly thick yellow-sand of the weekend, or some kind of fretting/anxiety? Did comprehensive exams make me exhausted? Nothing can totally claim it, and my damn chronic headache, too! (The headache has tortured me since my teens, which sometimes had periods of respite, though. When I was eighteen, I absolutely sympathised Nietzsche with his pain, who had suffered from terrible headache. ;D)

The only thing I can tell is that I’m always anguished with various mental/psychological reasons. The pressure of dissertation—several theses, as well-- heavily falls down upon me, and my physical condition, which is weakening day by day, doubtlessly gains a cause, and besides, my emotional unstableness often makes everything tougher. The uncertain future of this getting-older female student, who has no good connection, adds gloomy vision. What for is her struggling? I didn’t re-begin study for specified purposes, but desires have grown as studying more.

I need to be poised and strong mentally as well as physically, and I should not want so much, but it’s not easy to control. Like manic-depressive psychopath, my mind and body is repeatedly vacillating between ups and downs. Once lively and then groggy, and again! Maybe I miss someone to talk with, like Dimitri. I haven’t got in touch with him for nearly a year.

Brit…