I took nosebleed for snivelling.
Everything which irritates me depends on my management. It’s all up to me, and no one can replace me. Frequently I feel some emotional oscillation between uplift and downcast. When suffering from swinging unstableness of mind, I wonder if I’m a manic-depressive psychosis.
Life often seems to go beyond my will and expectation. It is so arbitrary that it may look sporting over me. The life-devil, the dark and negative face of life, uses depression as one of its playing tools, which the tools are its arms to fight against me. Depression produces all the unexpected or haphazard illness. I know all that, nevertheless, can’t help it now and then. I cannot be knelt down to it, however. Even though it is deadly hard to overcome it, I can’t lose. Avec ma solitude, I’ll stand tall.
Wilful it is, yet I must be happy. When feeling like crying, I’ll cry loudly under my pillow, and then regain smile.
Brit…
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