Fatigue

I’m suffering from fatigue. Whole my body aches. Sorry to say fatigue, I don’t deserve it. Anyway, what’s the cause of it? Definitely not from hard work, because I didn’t have any hard work! Then, what about ill food, the sushi of yesterday, or a touch of cold, or breathlessly thick yellow-sand of the weekend, or some kind of fretting/anxiety? Did comprehensive exams make me exhausted? Nothing can totally claim it, and my damn chronic headache, too! (The headache has tortured me since my teens, which sometimes had periods of respite, though. When I was eighteen, I absolutely sympathised Nietzsche with his pain, who had suffered from terrible headache. ;D)

The only thing I can tell is that I’m always anguished with various mental/psychological reasons. The pressure of dissertation—several theses, as well-- heavily falls down upon me, and my physical condition, which is weakening day by day, doubtlessly gains a cause, and besides, my emotional unstableness often makes everything tougher. The uncertain future of this getting-older female student, who has no good connection, adds gloomy vision. What for is her struggling? I didn’t re-begin study for specified purposes, but desires have grown as studying more.

I need to be poised and strong mentally as well as physically, and I should not want so much, but it’s not easy to control. Like manic-depressive psychopath, my mind and body is repeatedly vacillating between ups and downs. Once lively and then groggy, and again! Maybe I miss someone to talk with, like Dimitri. I haven’t got in touch with him for nearly a year.

Brit…

The Comprehensive Exams

Today, I took comprehensive exams for finishing my doctorial course, that is, a kind of graduate exams. If we don’t pass the exams, we’re not allowed to present our dissertations. Among seminars we’ve taken in the course, we doctorial graduates choose 4 to be tested. My choice included in a Study of Contemporary British Writers, a Study of Contemporary American Fiction Ⅰ, English Poems in the Sixteenth-century, and a Study of Contemporary American Drama. For last three weeks I’ve been engaged in preparing the exams, and finally they’ve gone. A little nervous, but I’ve managed well as a whole, and I think I’m going to pass them successfully. From now on I can concentrate on my dissertation, sometimes helping my professor in his work when he needs my hand. My professor, who always backs me up, proposed me to edit The Humanities Quarterly, which is one of his projects as the Dean of Humanities College. I’m willing to help him.

Brit…