Michael insists, “Relationships should be easy. If it's not, you're doing it wrong.” Maybe he is right—but partly true and partly untrue depending on situations, I think. Anyway, according to his logic, I'm doing it wrong all the time because my relationships are usually—almost always— not easy. I don’t like the word “easy” in this case except when “easy” means comfortable—especially in man-woman relationship, “easy” often means light and temporal like just a physical enjoying.
Michael’s words seem so much American. I suddenly realise that he is a real American, no more, no less, like my P is. Probably there is a certain unstoppable gap among us—between them and me, which is remarkable difference in thought and emotion. It may be why I’m frequently hurt. Mightn’t the American emotion fit me? I’m saying this in spite of the fallacy of generalisation. All Americans are not that, yet mostly perhaps.
I think a serious/sincere relationship at least cannot be easy unless the word means comfortable. Now and then, and just now, so many “I”s, bustling inside me, torment with one another.
Do I have to break my fantasy which might be just an illusion or self-delusion and from which I’m making a fairy-tale? The knight of the fairy-tale constantly encourages my amnesia, but my self-consciousness often interferes in. I can’t help it. I don’t know what to do then. In fact, it is not important which one is stronger, in both I’m already lost. I would not delve anything from this fairy-tale land—probably. Even if so, I cannot give it away, I can’t. I’ve thought that love is blind and usually foolish. In that sense, I am not in love because I can see all things I can’t understand, though often emotionally foolish I am. I don't like to come into his basket despite those all. I don’t embrace them. Dreaming of romanticism becomes more and more exhausting thing as adding years.
Brit…
(Paradoxically, sometimes I also maybe want easy relationships, though. . . . I'm not good at relationships and they are always difficult for me.)
I'm a romantic, Brit, so I understand you. I also can't be in "easy relationships". And in any others too, without feelings.
ReplyDeleteI've an idea;-) A little strange and funny)
Let's imagine I'm your teacher and you're my student. OK? OK. So,
we open The University of Romanticism. What a great name! Isn't it?)
Today is our first day. And my first lesson as a teacher. Maybe through it I'll learn together with you)
So, the first lesson are usually Introduction. Right?
Well, as the perfect example I've selected for this lection some extracts from the great movie "Dead Poets Society"
You should read them very carefully! Maximum of attention! (don't forget-I'm a teacher now;-)
Here are these extracts which you should read not once:
"This is the room where the boys waited earlier. The walls are lined with class pictures: dating back into the 1800s. School trophies of every description fill trophy cases and shelves. Keating leads the students in, then faces the class.
"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. The Latin term for that sentiment is "Carpe Diem."... seize the day. Why does the poet write these lines?
Because we're food for worms, lads!
Because we're only going to experience a limited number of springs, summers, and falls. One day, hard as it is to believe, each and every one of us is going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die! Stand up and peruse the faces of the boys who attended this school sixty or seventy years ago. Don't be timid, go look at them."
ANGLES ON VARIOUS PICTURES ON THE WALLS. Faces of young men stare at us from out of the past.
KEATING:
“They're not that differen than any of you, are they? There's hope in their eyes, just like in yours. They believe hemselves destined for wonderful things, just like many of you. Well, where are those smiles now, boys? What of that hope?”
"Did most of them not wait until it was too late before making their lives into even one iota of what they were capable?
In chasing the almighty deity of success did they not squander their boyhood dreams? Most of those gentlemen are fertilizing daffodils! However, if you get very close, boys, you can hear them whisper. Go ahead, lean in. near it?
'Carpe Diem, lads. Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary."
"Now, many will argue that nineteenth-century literature has nothing to do with business school or medical school. They think we should I read our Field and Pipple, learn our rhyme and meter, and quietly go about it our business of achieving other ambitions.
Well, I say drivel! One reads poetry because he is a member of the human race and the human race is filled with passion! Medicine, Law, Banking-these are necessary to sustain life-but poetry, romance, love, beauty! These are what we stay alive for. I read from Whitman. Oh me, Oh life of the questions of these recurring. OF the endless trains of the faithless of cities filled with the foolish... skipping... What good amid these O me, O life? Answer: That you are here- That life exists and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
Well Brit, here's the end of our first lection!;)
HOMEWORK: Read many times those extracts.
Watch the movie "Dead Poets Society"
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So Brit, how am I in a role of teacher?;-)
This time, teacher Vlad impresses me. What a sweet friend of you! I wonder how many identities you would assume further on. ;) I recognise you are an ardent and empathic teacher.
ReplyDeleteBut it is not that, Vlad... The problem is that I’m too old to have such a dream. The dream I can dream is extremely limited, because I belong to Keating’s world, not to the boys’ world. So, mine is all of “madness and despair”.
Thank you, Brit! The same compliments I can say about you!
ReplyDeleteWell, about "the problem". Maybe it isn't because of our ages but because of our minds. Who knows;)
Keating during all episodes shows that he is also in the romantic atmosphere!;)
I started to learn an English Literature course at the Alison courses. Also this course supported by the British Council.
ReplyDeleteWell, very interesting. They have also a lot of multimedia materials and so on.
The course themes started with Samuel Coleridge - also romantic;-)
Now I read his poems.