Is 'A Time for Us' about to Begin or End?

My new semester already began. Regularly it begins in March, but I’m charged with one of the special programmes for [would-be] freshmen of our university during the winter vacation. I’d be busy as ever with lecturing, proofreading (of my diss.), and preparing for [regular] spring semester whole through the winter. My editing work of Newsletter of College of Humanities also goes on this year round.

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Busy life is good, but I’m afraid I’d forget myself now and then. I always need reflexions of my days and my soul. You know, one of my nicknames was “the Addicted to Thinking (생각쟁이)”. Boss Hwang (MS’s nickname) used to call me with the nickname. In fact, without thinking, my existence wouldn’t be as much as just I look surface and the real ‘I’ would disappear. My romanticism, which I cannot give up, would be forgotten, too. Maybe it’s good to forget the romanticism, because I’m too old for dreaming of it.

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P sometimes hurts me with breaking illusions that he often provokes first. In my current days, it is him who both gives to and takes away from me an illusion, which I often delude myself as a romantic dream. I cannot love him and I want to hate him. Then I would break my fantasy and stop making the fairy-tale at the worst, or I would wake up from my self-delusion and recover my self-consciousness at the best.

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One cruelly wakes up another’s deep and long sleeping instinct and fired on it for another’s desires to flame up. Then they became unknown how to control it, that is, they don’t know how to take their control back as before. Maybe one knows, but another doesn’t. They can't help themselves at times because they fall for and need each other all the time. Sometimes they are Guinevere and Lancelot from the legendary fairy-tale, the hopeless couple. They cannot give each other what they want, however. Perhaps they even don't know about it—what they want— exactly. Both of them are desperate fools and evils. Intended sparing a little distance from each other saddens their egos anyway.

Brit…